I feel so sad
I feel so sad
Whatever I miss Evan so much like
>has a good time
> thinks about Bae the whole time
Tbh Jameson just said something that made me cry
Also I had this really nice conversation with Juli the other day and I was talking about how I’ve always been like scared of intimacy re: friendships and relationships and stuff and she started talking about how she doesn’t really believe in the universe just placing you with the people you have in your life like those people choose to keep you around. They chose you on purpose and they have reasons they believe are valid in doing so even if you think they’re stupid for it. Like you’re genuinely enough for the people around you because they choose to be around you. This is literally the gayest thing I’ve ever fucking typed but it made me feel really good because I’ve never had someone explicitly explain to me why I should feel secure in my relationships with them.
Anyway I love my therapist because I’ve known her since the 7th grade and my mom got frustrated a lot because she just expected my therapist to like forgive my sins or something and doesn’t understand that I actively have to work on not being a piece of shit all the time. w/e she’s always on my team and she’s been the only genuine and effective support system I’ve had Over The Years
My therapist said she would do skype sessions with me and I texted her about it two… Days ago and she hasn’t replied and my brain just detached and dropped down into my stomach
I started to get out of bed to do things but my parents are fighting and like I’m not…….. I don’t have the energy
I get to go back 2 Florida bye
Whatever I’m definitely just lonely and want friends so I’m focusing on the ones I had even though they weren’t very good to me.